hawkeyekate | (no subject)

She slowly calmed down against him.

"Old trauma underneath new, Will. You know how it is."

"Aye, oh aye, me love. I'll run ye a warm bath an ye can just soak."

He stands up and kisses her forehead, not aware of the worry and frown lines on his forehead.

She was aware, and she flopped back against the pillow.

"Damn." There were a few good hits to said pillow too.

"Will, don't blame yourself. Please. Just have to be careful at times."

The water is running and Will might be throwing the bath salts in a little harder than he needs to,

"Just wish to make ye laugh is all."

Kate sighed, "I know... I... "

She took another deep breath, and starting singing numbers to help center and focus. Even though part of her wanted to go out back and give some hits to the bag.

Finally he comes back out and hugs her,

"Lay on yer front, love. I'll take care o'yer back."

He's not sure how to explain why it hurts, as if she doesn't trust him anymore to know those lines but they've changed.

Kate moved on her back, and there were soft sniffling sounds. She hated this, it was just like before when she couldn't feel safe at all.

"Shh, I'm 'ere, Kate, just 'ave to find our way through the dark forest."

Gently he starts massaging her back as he sings a quiet song of love and home.

She murmured into the mattress after listening to some measures of the song, "It's just like before. I couldn't feel safe again for the longest time."

"Tell me if feel I'm pushin' ye an I'll stop, dinna wish to make ye sad."

He whispers before he starts singing again as he works his way down her back.

"Will knock it off. Stop blaming yourself. Things have changed, and have to re-discover everything again." She groaned since her back had all tensed up again.

He doesn't answer but instead keeps massaging her back and singing.

Kate lifted her head, and brought her hand back to clutch at his hand or arm. Closest she could to him.

"Will? Stop blaming yourself. Things are just really bad still and it's going to take months to work it all out. Be patient."

"Course I'll be patient, love ye, Kate."

He squeezes her hand again and kisses her cheek,

"Bath should be ready soon."

Kate sighed as she laid her head down again, the cheek resting against the bedspread. She wiped her eyes for a few minutes.

It sucked, feeling this brittle and fragile. She didn't wanted to treated like glass, but she didn't want to break and fall apart like this either.

He goes into the bathroom and fixes it so that lavender floats out into the room then Will comes back in and hugs her, hiding his face in her hair.

She sat up, and hugged him back.

"I know, I know. I don't like this anymore than you do. Being like this."

"Shh, we'll find our way through, promise."

He covers her face with ever so light kisses, finding all the salt tears.

"I know you want it to be like before, but it can't be. Have to start over." She reached up to stroke his hair as she closed her eyes.

He sighs and just hugs her,

"Know that, Kate."

Kate could feel the lump forming in her throat. Damn, not again.

She then quickly buried her head into his shoulder as she was hit with another crying jag.

So he strokes her back and hair, trying to soothe her as he curls against her, holding his own pain in to not worry her more.

She clung tightly to him as she cried, and struggled to gain her composure again. Her body trembled slightly from it, and it only stopped again after several long minutes.

That makes him hold her even tighter and murmur words of comfort.

She finally stopped, and focused on her breathing again as she wiped her eyes.

"All right, that's got to stop. Can't keep getting these."