hawkeyekate | (no subject)

He stops and moves his hands up to rest on the bed,

"Aye?"

Kate breathed in and out slowly. Counting.

"Just give me a moment here."

"Oh aye, will be good, love."

Then he kisses her cheek and her ear before snuggling her in his arms.

"Please do, almost panicked there." She continued to breathe, and focused on calming down.

"Na like ye to panic, should I be givin' ye a back rub 'nstead?"

She nodded. "Sorry, didn't feel like I was in control. Triggered something." Mind resembled a bit of a minefield still.

So he pulls her even closer and strokes her hair and back,

"Oh my Kate."

She slowly calmed down against him.

"Old trauma underneath new, Will. You know how it is."

"Aye, oh aye, me love. I'll run ye a warm bath an ye can just soak."

He stands up and kisses her forehead, not aware of the worry and frown lines on his forehead.

She was aware, and she flopped back against the pillow.

"Damn." There were a few good hits to said pillow too.

"Will, don't blame yourself. Please. Just have to be careful at times."

The water is running and Will might be throwing the bath salts in a little harder than he needs to,

"Just wish to make ye laugh is all."

Kate sighed, "I know... I... "

She took another deep breath, and starting singing numbers to help center and focus. Even though part of her wanted to go out back and give some hits to the bag.

Finally he comes back out and hugs her,

"Lay on yer front, love. I'll take care o'yer back."

He's not sure how to explain why it hurts, as if she doesn't trust him anymore to know those lines but they've changed.

Kate moved on her back, and there were soft sniffling sounds. She hated this, it was just like before when she couldn't feel safe at all.

"Shh, I'm 'ere, Kate, just 'ave to find our way through the dark forest."

Gently he starts massaging her back as he sings a quiet song of love and home.

She murmured into the mattress after listening to some measures of the song, "It's just like before. I couldn't feel safe again for the longest time."

"Tell me if feel I'm pushin' ye an I'll stop, dinna wish to make ye sad."

He whispers before he starts singing again as he works his way down her back.

"Will knock it off. Stop blaming yourself. Things have changed, and have to re-discover everything again." She groaned since her back had all tensed up again.

He doesn't answer but instead keeps massaging her back and singing.

Kate lifted her head, and brought her hand back to clutch at his hand or arm. Closest she could to him.

"Will? Stop blaming yourself. Things are just really bad still and it's going to take months to work it all out. Be patient."

"Course I'll be patient, love ye, Kate."

He squeezes her hand again and kisses her cheek,

"Bath should be ready soon."

Kate sighed as she laid her head down again, the cheek resting against the bedspread. She wiped her eyes for a few minutes.

It sucked, feeling this brittle and fragile. She didn't wanted to treated like glass, but she didn't want to break and fall apart like this either.

He goes into the bathroom and fixes it so that lavender floats out into the room then Will comes back in and hugs her, hiding his face in her hair.

She sat up, and hugged him back.

"I know, I know. I don't like this anymore than you do. Being like this."

"Shh, we'll find our way through, promise."

He covers her face with ever so light kisses, finding all the salt tears.