(no subject)
May. 3rd, 2008 05:18 pmSomewhere in Kate's room, there were pieces of paper. Journal entries, written haphazardly on note paper or in the margins of the puzzle books. Some were from her time in the cell, some were half hidden in the drawers. The writing which started out neat, began to distort and warp over the paper.
Some excerpts from the entries:
...I'm not sure why, but I keep thinking I'm not doing enough. I'm not reaching my potential, like there's more. Something about it scares me. I shouldn't still be thinking this. I'm avoiding B. I don't want to talk to him anymore. At least I think so?
....Another bad dream, I was with my teammates, and Will was fighting alongside like us like he did during the war back home. But then I turned around, and attacked them. Shooting them down with my arrows, even Will. And this look he gives me, but I can't stop myself. And there was something wrong with my hands, string trailing off from them, and I'd feel tugs from the string being pulled. I can't see where the strings are coming from, or who's tugging them. I'm really not liking this. I mean, nobody is controlling me. I'd know it....
...I think Eli knows something. Almost sure he's hiding things from me, the few times I've spoken to him on the phone. He'd pause, and then speak. He has to be lying. But why? Maybe B's right, maybe they do resent me. Just didn't want to see it before. And where's the door? It's been a month. Don't tell me it stopped?
....Will's back, and he's scared of either me or for me. I'm not sure what's going on. I'm not cursed, and yet something's wrong. I almost attacked him when he surprised me. And I wanted to. That's the worse part. I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore. Don't know how to explain it, but it's not me there. It's not my reflection. I think I might be changing... going through a metamorphosis... into what I really don't know. And the worst part? I think I want this...
Some excerpts from the entries:
...I'm not sure why, but I keep thinking I'm not doing enough. I'm not reaching my potential, like there's more. Something about it scares me. I shouldn't still be thinking this. I'm avoiding B. I don't want to talk to him anymore. At least I think so?
....Another bad dream, I was with my teammates, and Will was fighting alongside like us like he did during the war back home. But then I turned around, and attacked them. Shooting them down with my arrows, even Will. And this look he gives me, but I can't stop myself. And there was something wrong with my hands, string trailing off from them, and I'd feel tugs from the string being pulled. I can't see where the strings are coming from, or who's tugging them. I'm really not liking this. I mean, nobody is controlling me. I'd know it....
...I think Eli knows something. Almost sure he's hiding things from me, the few times I've spoken to him on the phone. He'd pause, and then speak. He has to be lying. But why? Maybe B's right, maybe they do resent me. Just didn't want to see it before. And where's the door? It's been a month. Don't tell me it stopped?
....Will's back, and he's scared of either me or for me. I'm not sure what's going on. I'm not cursed, and yet something's wrong. I almost attacked him when he surprised me. And I wanted to. That's the worse part. I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore. Don't know how to explain it, but it's not me there. It's not my reflection. I think I might be changing... going through a metamorphosis... into what I really don't know. And the worst part? I think I want this...